Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Man-Purse and an Argument for Day-Drinking

So I finally broke down and got a man-purse.  Commuting forty-five minutes two ways every weekday was getting old I needed the ability to stash stuff and carry things with me.  Every day I was carrying my lunch, a school book, some book called Tinkers that some guy named Michael gave me, my wallet, MP3 player, keys and phone.

About day four of making this drive, I knew I had to do something.  I haven't looked back since.

It's a tiny little bag.  Just big enough to hold things, not big enough to lug around.  I'll never hurt myself carrying it, I'll never lose anything in it.  It literally holds my programming text, Tinkers, and what usually is held in my pockets.  I never realized how much I prefer to have my pockets free.  I don't have to dig around in my pants to get my keys or anything for that matter.  When I sit, I don't sit unevenly because of my wallet.  I don't have the awkward bunching of material and massive lumps in my pants from keys and a phone.  It is, essentially, the most liberating thing I've experienced since I worked my way out of indentured servitude. (seven years I'll never get back, stupid Rifle Shot game at the carnival . . . I know I hit that person balancing on the beach ball and I knew I could do it again.)(I didn't)

Deuteronomy and Day-Drinking make me more excited than I thought they would.  See my church is going through Deuteronomy this year.  I havn't read Deuteronomy since I got it in my head that I had to read every book of the Bible at least once a year.  That was in 2002; I only ever read them all once and it took longer than a year.  With Larry Trotter at the helm, I'm confident that I will enjoy this series, I just struggle with the juxtaposition of the Old Testament judgmental creator vs the New Testament graceful savior.  I know that God is the same and that the story being told is on purpose, but it is hard to validate the laws in Deuteronomy(bury your feces outside the camp, dammit!  I'm walking here!) in the light of, let's say, Romans.

Day-Drinking is my pet elephant in the room.  My brother and I started drinking at 10:30 AM on Thanksgiving, and now we kind of do it all the time.  Weekends, my sister-in-law's wedding, any day we have free time always turn into this slow creeping drinking fest that leaves us appropriately comfortable with ourselves and those around us.  The joy of the Day-Drinking is this: we don't get hammered or have hangovers.  We drink until we have a sustainable buzz and then nurse two or three beers or sip some bourbon after that.  It's amazing.  We never have to worry about what day we're drinking on in case we work the next day, we never wake up not knowing what happened the night before(looking right into your red-bearded face, Michael) and, truthfully, the tasty things we drink never lose flavor, because we never get that far.  It's just nice to drink without getting drunk . . .