The Magnitude of $1,600

Having just replaced my well pump for the fashionable price of $1,600, I appreciate how much it really is. With $1,600 I could have bought a sizable above ground swimming pool. The money could have been put towards the principle of my mortgage thus reducing the amount of interest I pay by $300 a year. I could have had my master and guest bathrooms tiled and finished. I could have bought 3 iPhone 4's, 300 $5 Boxes from Taco Bell, 7 XBox 360's, or even a second honeymoon.

These things would have all enriched my life in one way or another. Through progressing my house, enriching my marriage, increasing my ability to communicate, or just sustaining my body they would have helped me in some way, though some more than others. Several piloting lessons, near innumerable hours of entertainment, or a solid cruise were all possibilities. Those plans were not to be, however, because all of these things share something. All of these possible uses for $1600 are frivolous when compared to the need for running water. At the end of the day, I'm always going to spend the $1,600 on the very thing that separates me from the third world...

God Be Smarter Than I Is

I took 3.5 hours today and gave them to silent meditation on scripture and the state of my soul in God's eyes. Given the fight Rachel and I just had and the resulting conversations, I assumed that my extended prayer/silence time would center around the idea of gender roles, leadership, Godly husbandship and patience. Turns out that God had other plans. I followed a series of scriptures given to me by my small group leader and read a chapter in "Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands"(author is from Scranton, PA, awesome) and spent the rest of the time journaling and in meditative silence.

Almost every scripture I read, the chapter I read, and the nagging of my heart pointed to an entirely different focus than I expected. I learned more about following Christ, my servanthood and God's sovereignty than anything close to being a leader. To be fair, the irony is not lost on me. My focus to be a good leader should have been on becoming a better servant. My efforts to be a better husband should have led me to being a better Christian. Then again, hindsight is 20/20. God is good in His revelation and in His timing. I hope to make this practice of several hours of silence, meditation, and journaling a more regular instance.

God is greater than I'll ever be. His plans are far superior to anything I can imagine. The story of His grace, forgiveness, love, and patience throughout history trumps every plot ever conceived by mankind. The beauty of all of these facts is that as a follow of Christ, I can take comfort in them. I don't have to be frightened or worried or stressed because if God is for me, who can stand against me? If He takes care of the birds of the air and the flowers of the field, how much more will He care for me? In the end of days, God will call all unto judgment. He is my rock; He is my fortress. When I can't, He can. Praise be to God for His sovereignty, even when things don't go my way...

Beautiful Agony

Rachel and I had an amazing fight. We both hurt each other quite badly. She questioned my abilities as a leader; I noted her inability to commit. Tears were shed. There wasn't a whole lot of yelling, but the tense atmosphere was more than enough to show how much was coming to light in this particular fight.

It is fights like these that remind me of how much I love Rachel. She does her best to hold me to God's standards and I can't help but thank her for it. In spite of my feelings and pride being bruised, I love the accountability.

Towards the end, we both deemed it necessary to be better people, better spouses, and better followers of Christ. God's use of my wife to build me up in times of need and to tear me down in humility is probably the greatest aspect of marriage you never expect.

As we move forward, I hope God continues to show me how to lead as I should. I hate fighting, but if this is the result, this loving, tender reminder that we can do no better than to imitate our savior, I'm in... all day, everyday, I'll do it. Though, I would prefer to not have to fight every time... maybe some more gentle reminders... like book reading... or song singing... morning breath kisses...

Today is the Day

Caught up with all the friends today. After seeing some long lost friends over the weekend, it was kind of nice to see the common faces. Sermon about the two responses to the gospel(that it is foolish or that it is the ultimate wisdom) straight from 1 Corinthians 1. No Trotter for us today; Noah Joiner stepped into the role. I always lean towards Trotter, but I have been surprised before. Noah didn't disappoint or anything, but he wasn't amazing. Seemed more nervous than I anticipated him being. Solid message though. He has a great story(read: pot head comes to Christ); he illustrated the passage well. In his nervousness he made some near heretical statements. It happens, no biggie. Unless he means them; maybe I should ask around and determine whether he is a heretic. Friends came over; lunch is delicious. Rachel and I go out of our way to host people. I'm not bitter, truly, but I wonder if anyone would ever offer the same to us. My most notable heartache is that I get so caught up in myself and the things I do. More important are that I do things for God's glory. I'm pretty sure it would be better for me to not do anything than to do good things out of a desire for positive response.

Got to hang out with Sarah, my sister in law. It is an interesting and unique dynamic for me. Lots of fun and catching up from not seeing her for a couple of weeks.

Had a rerun of the Sashimi Tuna today, delicious.

Hope Aaron and Allison are having fun. They made a very cute and fun couple. Excellent ceremony; I wouldn't have changed anything. It was perfectly beautiful and quaint. I hope nothing threw them off on their day.

I'm done with weddings for a while... lots of drinking to follow....